Today's Best Job Posting on Craigslist Boston

Let's hear it for Lexington Tutoring, an organization that understands what guitar students really want from their instructor:

• A guitar teacher with solid credentials and references located IN Metro South, Metro West or Metro North who is sufficiently adept with Microsoft Office to follow our record-keeping procedures and can commit to checking and responding to email from us before 9 AM and at least a few times later in the day. We are interested ONLY in acquiring a guitar teacher who can also provide knowledgeable, meaningful support in algebra, geometry, biology and history.

I suspect there's a very specific tutoring ruse in the works. The plan probably goes something like this: A pair of worried Lexington parents will finally agree to launch their academically challenged kid's rock-star future with lessons from a very special guitar teacher... but the new teacher will inform the kid that he can't possibly understand chords without a solid grounding in linear equalities, polyhedrons, mitosis, and the Peloponnesian War. (And in my opinion, you'll never become the next Eric Clapton without a practical knowledge of chemical reactions.)

To me, the strangest thing about this job description isn't its academic requirements. I took years of guitar lessons as a teen (after mastering the necessary math, history, and bio skills). And I live near Berklee, so I'm always seeing guitar teachers and students roaming around — and it's obvious that they're all intent on solving quadratic equations in their heads. But I simply can't believe there's a guitar teacher anywhere who would be capable of checking anything before 9 am.

Party on, Wayne.