(Cat, left. Pottery Barn Faux-Fur Hot Water Bottle, right.)
Cat: always warm, always furry. WINNER
Bottle: warm for 12 hours when full of hot water, always furry.
Cat: very cute, purrs. WINNER
Bottle: less cute, despite little pom-poms. Doesn't purr.
Cat: wanders off, ignoring warming duties.
Bottle: stays wherever you put it. WINNER
Cat: needs love, food, water, clean litter box, medical care, playtime, toys, friends.
Bottle: needs a kettle of boiling water. TIE
Cat: thermal-regulating, will move away when you're both roasting. WINNER
Bottle: always hot, easily mistaken for hot, immovable cat when you're asleep.
Cat: generally not prone to leakage. WINNER
Bottle: eventually prone to spectacular leakage.
Cat: comes in unlimited sizes, colors, patterns. WINNER
Bottle: choice of brown or ivory.
Cat: $0 to about $1800 to buy. Somewhat costly to maintain. Priceless to have.
Bottle: $29 at Pottery Barn. TIE
Cat: easily obtainable from shelters, catteries, Petfinder.com, etc. WINNER
Bottle: only available in season.
Cat: decorative and companionable when not in use. WINNER
Bottle: just sits there.
Score: Cat: 9 Bottle: 3