1. I never get as much blog-time as Possum. Evil Mommy says he is an intellectual, whereas I am more of a small-talker. But she should be able to intuit my many shallow thoughts and write about them.
2. Evil Mommy put tennis balls in the dryer with her pillow to fluff it up and I thought I was Going to Die.
3. I do not have enough sparkle balls. I don't even have 20. Maybe just 16 or 17.
4. Evil Mommy is trying to starve us to death by feeding us no-calorie ["indoor formula" — ed.] food for breakfast.
5. Possum gets whatever he wants.
6. Sometimes, Evil Mommy or Daddy tries to pet me while I am lying on the bed and I'm convinced I am Going to Die.
7. Sometimes, I lie on the bed and Evil Mommy and Daddy don't try to pet me.
8. When Evil Mommy gives Possum and me Greenies treats at night, I need ample time to sniff each one, in case it is Poison and would Cause Me to Die. But Possum knocks them out of Evil Mommy's fingers as I am inspecting them and snarfs them up.
9. Every couple of weeks, Evil Mommy vacuums and I think I am Going to Die.
10. Evil Mommy (and Daddy) used to try to feed me P
oison [salmon — ed.] made by Fancy Feast. Fancy Feast makes a million delicious flavors but they give me P oison [Savory Salmon Feast — ed.].