Thursday, August 13, 2009

Warning: Contains Gillyweed

Leave it to my husband to recall Professor Severus Snape as he was pouring out the bottles of nasty magnesium citrate for the first round of prep for his screening colonoscopy. The big event is tomorrow. The beverage was indeed reminiscent of Potions Class at Hogwarts. I don't need a crystal ball to predict that the rest of the evening will feel like an especially unpleasant science project for him. Because he is the project.

He said the drink tasted of gillyweed. But I think it's actually an Exploding Potion, and would therefore contain a slug besides the key ingredient, erumpent fluid. That stuff is hard to get because erumpents explode a lot. And they tend to blow up each other, too.* We were lucky to find the stuff at CVS; I thought we'd have to hunt for it in Diagon Alley. Considering all the erumpent fluid in there, it was pretty reasonably priced, too.

I didn't actually see a slug bits in the bottle, but they can do amazing things with pulverizing these days.

I hear they'll be giving him Forgetfulness Potion tomorrow. Boy, would I like some of that. I had some once, during a colonoscopy in fact, and I never forgot it. What a lovely experience that turned out to be....

Since I'm going to waiting for him at the hospital for three hours, where I won't have access to any potions, except possibly Starbucks iced mochas in the next building, I think I'll bring along a volume of Harry Potter for some decent company. I'd rather have a butterbeer, but it's a hospital.

* This information comes from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, by Newt Scamander. I had to look it up; I can't memorize as well as Hermione.

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