Thursday, May 20, 2010

Top 10 Things I Don't Need to Worry About...

... but why would that stop me?

1. Becoming a pregnant teenager (old habits die hard)

2. Getting fired. For that to happen, someone would have to actually hire me.

3. Bed bugs. I don't bring home furniture I see on the sidewalk, but what if a bug just wanders in?

4. Forgetting how to read.

5. Going to hell. I don't believe in hell, but 12 years of Catholic school wreaks havoc on your brain.

6. Needing bifocals. I don't need to worry about this because It's Already Too Late.

7. The flu. When was the last time you thought about H1N1? Just leave all that to me.

8. My cats learning to talk. It would be horrible to know what they think about me and all the drivel I tell them all day long. I don't really want them calling Oprah and dragging me on TV, either.

9. Bush getting re-elected.

10. Running out of stupid things to worry about so I have to start thinking about Really Scary Things to Worry About. Like my mammogram next week. Oh my god....

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