Friday, December 3, 2010

Behind the 8-Ball

Last year on December 3, I posted a "Worry and Wonder List."  That's was an interesting time around here, fraught with various troubles and uncertainties.  I decided to revisit the list and felt myself morphing into the human equivalent of a Magic 8-Ball, revealing truths to my verclempt self of 2009.  And since I'm eating truffles as I write — endless leftovers from chocolate-making class — I am beginning to look like a Magic 8-Ball, too.

Let's run down the list and see what's been settled:

1. Will the ringworm ever go away?   SIGNS POINT TO YES! Although spores can survive for two years. But we seem to be okay.

2. Will my husband finally get the job of his dreams?   YES. And so far, it's a dream job indeed.

3. Will I ever get any job?   CANNOT PREDICT NOW. I landed one project in the past year. But the way things are going, who knows if/when I'll get another one.

4. What is this weird rash on both sides of my neck, which broke out while I sweating at the gym today?   REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN. No idea what that was.

5. Why is Possum coughing? (Coughing can be a serious symptom in cats. He's had three spells in three days, which isn't enough to concern the vet yet, she says, although she has permitted me to freak out. But one or two more fits, Possy, and you're on the exam table for X-rays and blood work.)   ASK AGAIN LATER. He did have tests, which were negative, but the spells continued to freak us both out until they stopped in the summer. 

6. Why does Wendy breathe so fast sometimes? Does she have heart trouble? Are both of my kittens going to drop dead on me? (Not on me exactly, but you get the idea.)  MY SOURCES SAY NO. I suspect that all kittens breathe like that when they play too hard. She's settled down now for the most part.

7. What is this weird rash on my neck? Could it be something other than what I think it is?  SIGNS POINT TO YES.

8. Why does Snalbert stick one foot up in the air when he sits down? He is neither a gymnast nor a dancing Cossack. (And while I'm at it, I've convinced myself that Snicky has something fatal, too.)  ASK AGAIN LATER.  He doesn't do that anymore. And Snicky is still with us.

9. Were there typos in the thank-you notes I just sent after the job interview? This occurred to me after I sent them.... I did check them but you should always check twice. Can't bear to look now.  BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW. That company hired a Bright Young Thing, as they'd set out to do, so it hardly mattered.

10. Why did I refer to the Pyramids as "slag heaps with edges" during my interview, after one woman said she's always wanted to see them? This and other bizarre utterances of mine kept me up through the wee hours last night. At least I didn't mention ringworm.  CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN. But I don't want to know.

11. How will I screw up during the Garden Club's annual wreath decorating next week? I offered to help make bows or do deliveries but I'm being compelled to decorate. The pressure is so intense.  REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN.  Wreath Week 2010 starts on Monday and I'm a wreck once again.

12. Then there's this rash, or something, on my neck. WITHOUT A DOUBT. Sometimes the Magic 8-Ball likes to hedge its bets. I bet it wishes it had this response in its arsenal: "ENOUGH WITH THE RASH."

13. Is the triclosan, which I've been spraying around the house on every surface and putting into every load of laundry for the past month, going to kill the ringworm — or us?  OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD. It's a carcinogen as well as a germicide, but it's probably still in your toothpaste, deodorant, soaps, and cleaners.

14. What does everyone in my family want for Christmas? And how do I ship it all to them since we'll be in exile up here?  CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN.  Everything fit in a few boxes last year; no worries. And once again, this year, I have no idea what everyone wants for Christmas. 

15. Why do my friends put up with me?  BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW.

16. If the neck rash is ringworm and if it eventually makes all my hair fall out, can I get a thin, stringy wig with gray roots and a crooked part, so no one can tell?   SIGNS POINT TO YES. ENOUGH WITH THE RASH.

17. Why do I worry so much? Is this normal? Is something wrong with my brain beyond all the stuff I already know about?  YOU MAY RELY ON IT.  Gee, thanks, 8-Ball!   

18. Does triclosan cause neck rashes?  REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN. BUT ENOUGH WITH THE RASH.

I don't know how that was for you, but I had fun. I was clearly something of a mess this time last year. Life is generally much calmer and happier these days, but it's amusing to see how some things never change. And that's okay with me. As long as they don't cause mysterious rashes.

1 comment:

  1. Lovely wreaths--all of them. And about that rash, get some clotrimazole cream and bath in Nizoral may help even if it's not a dermatophyte...


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