Friday, May 20, 2011

The Eternal Questions...

We saw five of those trucks advertising tomorrow's Apocalypse driving in a caravan around Copley Square today, during the Farmers' Market.

Which made me wonder whether there were any Believers buying bread and produce — and not caring at all if it was fresh. (Last supper, after all. No leftovers...)

What if the fundamentalists are right and the world does end tomorrow?  It would be prudent to prepare a bit for this contingency, just so we don't look silly. So:
• We'd better eat up all the Ghirardelli double-chocolate muffins tonight.
• I'm holding off on vacuuming for at least another day.
• Will try not to beat myself up for stockpiling Forever postage stamps.
• Possum's first bath can wait 'til Sunday. Can't have the world end with a soggy Possum.

What if the Rapture comes with the dawn? I'm going to sleep right through it. Too bad; it would have been nice to see it, but no way. I can't possibly get up earlier than 6; I will only do that for royal weddings, every 30 years or so. If only those two events had been scheduled for the same day. Poor planning there, God and Queen....

Now, if there's a chance that I'm going to wake up Somewhere Else, I'd better wear nice pajamas tonight. However, I don't have any pajamas. Let's hope that wherever I might be Going has government-issue nightwear. From what I know about Heaven, from watching It's a Wonderful Life, I suspect that is what they do, with or without wings. And if that movie is anything to go on, it seems you can bring a book with you, as Clarence the angel did. The collected works of Dante would probably come in handy.

And the cats have to come with us, or the whole deal is off.

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