Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Seven Little Secrets

1. I always hope to find a body floating in the Charles. And a diamond on the sidewalk.

2.  I don't trust anyone who smiles all the time or claims to know what god wants.

3. I never liked the taste of alcohol. Wine is completely lost on me. (Diet coke, please.) I've never taken a recreational drug or smoked a cigarette or pot. What a bore I am at parties. I loathe parties.

4. At the gym, I can't recognize the voices of Britney, Beyoncé, Shakira, Christina, or any pop star except Lady Gaga. Heck, I can't tell Britney from Justin Bieber. I don't really care, but it makes me feel old.

5. Somehow, I missed Girl Stuff 101, so I can't accessorize, layer, wear platforms, style my hair, or apply eyeliner. (Those of you who know me have figured out this one.)

6. I don't believe in the death penalty.... except maybe for those who torture animals.

7. I like Facebook because it beats emailing or calling all those people, freeing my day for long, deep conversations with Possum.

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