I try to keep things positive on this blog, but I have to say it: Snalbert's breath could kill someone elderly, frail, or with a compromised immune system. He has the worst breath of any cat I've ever known. If he's on the floor near my chair and opens his mouth to yawn or talk to me, I practically keel over. When I give him his blood-pressure pill at night, it's almost enough to make my hair stand on end. I have to hold my own breath until he's swallowed and the air has cleared a bit.
I'm lazy and I don't brush the cats' teeth. I'd planned to get Wendy and Possum used to it when they were kittens, but we were too overwhelmed with nursing everyone through ringworm, several intestinal parasites and infections, and virulent calici virus (not to forget Snicky's inflammatory bowel disease and chronic renal failure) to deal with teeth. My, those were the days.
But I've never brushed any cat's teeth and I've never been confronted with such killer breath. Greenies, those crunchy treats that are supposed to clean cats' teeth and sweeten their breath, have zero impact on Snabby's awesome stench. I asked the vet about it. She bravely sniffed and said it was just "typical old-man cat breath," not caused by gingivitis or any other disease.
Typical old-man cat breath. Wow. If we could harness that powerful elixir, we could probably take over the world. Not that I'd want to... although I'd like to see us all have world peace, universal health care and education, the end of poverty, the end of sports talk radio, and cures for cancer and dementia.... Snalbert would probably just want universal cheese and free laptops and wireless for all cats.
But until we figure out how to bottle the stuff, I'd settle for a remedy for his grody old-man cat breath. Eew.