Saturday, July 27, 2013

Don't Try This at Home: Color Crazy

Color me appalled at the paint choices in this otherwise charming Victorian house, which recently went on the market. While I don't like the popular staging technique of painting every room stark white, I feel this goes a little too far in the opposite direction.

Khaki walls, mustard trim, turquoise fireplace? And what is that lime-green fence thing on the left? At least they didn't attack their ceilings or floors. *

Red, yellow, orange, and white kitchen... with acid green accent wall. Is that crooked masking tape or paint under those shelves and crooked pictures?

I thought I loved every pantry on earth, but not this one.

What happened to those poor steps? And, just in general, what the hell happened here? 
Note the mustard-yellow baseboard below that coral wall....

My theories:

1. Family is color-blind.

2. Family doesn't really want to sell; hopes to scare buyers without actually wrecking anything.

3. Family previously lived in pure-white-walled house. Misinterpreted real-estate agent's advice to "Add a little color to make the detailing pop."

4. Family gets great deals on returned paint at local Benjamin Moore dealer.

5. Family includes permissive parents who let their children roam free with paint rollers and brushes on dull weekends.

Please feel free to add your own thoughts.... 

* Photos via, the best online real-estate search tool, in my opinion.


  1. The family watched W-A-A-A-Y too many TLC & HGTV decorating shows, but completely ignored all the shows about staging your home for sale. The ones that tell you to "de-personalize" your home, including your insane color choices!

  2. But you're missing the upside: the house needs cosmetic work, and its garish palette is not likely to command top-of-the-market prices. So the house might go for a more reasonable price, and paint is pretty cheap compared to renovations. This is an opportunity for you to get the house you've been searching for --if it has the right bones, so to speak. So... how is the actual architecture?

  3. VL, you are wise. Good houses, even so-so houses, are often selling for over asking price in a few days in Boston and the better suburbs, so this one could indeed be a hidden jewel for a smart buyer. It's not close enough to the T (trolley), etc. for us, since I don't drive. And it seems overpriced for its neighborhood and lack of updating, although it seems to have a huge, wildly overgrown backyard. You're so right to overlook the paint job. There's a very nice house under all that color. If it were in the right location, we'd have a very good time repainting it.

  4. Ah, well, if it's not in a great location, forget it. And it's overpriced too? Hmm... sounds like the owners may lack judgment in more areas than just aesthetics.... or perhaps you're right, they really don't want to sell. I hold out hope, however, that with your discerning, historically informed eye you will find a great house to nurture back to its former glory. :-)

  5. I'm just looking forward to your next post (to not have to look at this colorful mess anymore)...this house is ghastly!! The paint job that is....the bones of the house look nice...the "makeup" looks applied by a drop out of clown college

  6. This could be a brilliant diet plan. What food is going to look appealing in that pantry!


Spam goes right into the trash but I appreciate relevant comments from non-spammers (and I can always tell the difference). I do my best to follow up if you have a question. ALL spam, attempts to market other websites, and anything nasty or unintelligible gets deleted instantly. The cats and I thank you for reading — and please feel free to comment on what you read.