Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Three Things to Remember

Besides the Aerolatte debacle I hinted at yesterday, I'd like to share a few tips we just learned the hard way. 

Possum enjoys a laugh at my expense. He is not usually rude, 
but he was annoyed that he didn't get even one bite of chicken.

1. Remember the Giblets. So, people really do forget to remove that plastic bag of giblets hidden inside the bird before it goes into the oven: I just did it myself. So much for that chicken, since the plastic was in sad shape by the time I realized what I'd done, 20 minutes into roasting. You must not eat a plastic-infused bird no matter how nice it looks. It was a relatively cheap chicken and I'd planned to use it mainly for soup, so I had taken a minimal approach to prepping it. What a rookie mistake.

2. Dress Down in the Kitchen. While my husband was disposing of my ruined chicken, he lost his grip and splattered chicken fat on his nice wool work pants. He later said that, as he was about to pick up the bird, he asked himself if something like this might happen. But he'd told himself, "No."  The correct answer to such questions is always, "Yes."

3. Wool Isn't Cotton. I took the chicken-splashed pants to the bathroom sink, where I keep a small arsenal of various Carbona stain removers handy. (I need to get their cocoa stain remover.) Accidents like this happen a lot around here. But we usually spill things when we're wearing cotton, not Brooks Brothers wool. I forgot. Deploying my little bottle, I made the pants worse. They looked like they'd played paintball by the time I rinsed them. Goodness, that chicken was turning out to be expensive after all. (Happily, the dry cleaner rescued the pants.)

4.  Don't Eat and Type. That is, don't eat toast dripping with butter and jelly as you type. Especially if you're me, typing this. I must stop typing and clean the keyboard since my fingers are sticking to the keys. If you don't hear from me soon, you'll know how I wrecked my laptop.

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