Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Here is Wendy, keeping warm and airing her grievances:
1. I spotted Evil Mommy putting drops of Poison [ed.: Rescue Remedy] in my second breakfast. And not anybody else's. So I stopped eating second breakfast because I Knew I Was Going To Die.
2. My brother Toffee's tail is bigger and floofier than my big, floofy tail. That is against regulations and I plan to file a Formal Complaint as soon as I can afford a lawyer.
3. So, Evil Mommy and Dearest Papa got a Christmas tree and put stuff all over it like every year. But just when it was all dry and crunchy and tasty, and just when my brother Toffee was figuring out how to electrocute himself with the lights, they took it down. What was the point?
4. My brother Toffee only ate five lights off the Christmas tree when I told him he needed to eat one for each of the Twelve Days of Christmas.
5. My brother Toffee also only ate one gold cord off the Christmas ornaments when I told him that six would make him grow wings so he could fly.
6. It's been really cold in here. I think they are trying to Freeze Me To Death. Evil Mommy goes around wrapped up in sweaters and boots and a hat and a blanket, but I Know It's Still Her.
7. Toffee and Harris hide in their new tunnel and jump out at me unexpectedly and I Think I Am Going To Die.
8. Evil Mommy still lives here.