Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Wendelina Pantherina


Here is Wendy, keeping warm and airing her grievances:

1. I spotted Evil Mommy putting drops of Poison [ed.: Rescue Remedy] in my second breakfast. And not anybody else's. So I stopped eating second breakfast because I Knew I Was Going To Die.

2. My brother Toffee's tail is bigger and floofier than my big, floofy tail. That is against regulations and I plan to file a Formal Complaint as soon as I can afford a lawyer.

3. So, Evil Mommy and Dearest Papa got a Christmas tree and put stuff all over it like every year. But just when it was all dry and crunchy and tasty, and just when my brother Toffee was figuring out how to electrocute himself with the lights, they took it down. What was the point?

4. My brother Toffee only ate five lights off the Christmas tree when I told him he needed to eat one for each of the Twelve Days of Christmas.

5. My brother Toffee also only ate one gold cord off the Christmas ornaments when I told him that six would make him grow wings so he could fly.

6. It's been really cold in here. I think they are trying to Freeze Me To Death. Evil Mommy goes around wrapped up in sweaters and boots and a hat and a blanket, but I Know It's Still Her.

7. Toffee and Harris hide in their new tunnel and jump out at me unexpectedly and I Think I Am Going To Die.

8. Evil Mommy still lives here.

4 comments:

  1. Love Wendy's complaints - so funny. Question: do you think Rescue Remedy actually works? Also, have you tried the Feliway pheromone Plug-in Diffuser? Our vet recently recommended the product (which I purchased) but then realized I didn't buy the name brand, so this may be why I don't see any difference in my three cats' anxious behavior after 30 days. I'll try the "real" Feliway brand next and then try Rescue Remedy after that. I'll let you know the results if you're interested!

    Joyce

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    1. Hi Joyce! Somehow your comment landed in my spam folder, sorry. Do I think Rescue Remedy works? In a word, no. But a lot of cat rescue people tell me they've seen that it does, and it certainly does no harm, so it's in my "try it even if it seems crazy" category. I've never used Feliway because I have asthma and have problems in houses with plug-in scent diffusers, so my vet figured I could have trouble with the molecules the Feliway disperses, too. I'm curious to know why you have three anxious cats! Are they siblings? Feral?

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  2. Oh Wendy. I believe I have written to you before. First, you are as beautiful as ever. But, you need a little more confidence honey. Learn to rule your world and keep all the boys in line. Realize mommy is on your side....I bet you would astound her with a few simple lap-sits And really, no one is out to kill you, really (they could have / would have done it by now). They all want you around for your beauty and experience (the "new" boys need some manners help!...chewing things up! tisk tisk). Relax Wendolina Pantherina. You have been with your wonderful mom & dad long enough to know you are safe and loved. Sending virtual hugs.......a

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I love getting comments and do my best to follow up if you have a question. I delete spam, attempts to market other websites, and anything nasty or unintelligible. The cats and I thank you for reading — and please do leave a comment that isn't spam, etc.