We heard only one hiss (Possum) today; the hospital-smell hostilities have ended. Lion helped himself to Wendy's supper bowl without incident and Possum was just seen pretend-biting Lion's poor, shaved paws as they wrestled. Lion gave himself a long bath last night and I think it did the trick.
Lessons learned from this adventure:
1. All string toys need to be shut away in drawers to be safe from our athletic Lion, who can apparently jump five feet straight up in the air.
2. Bring all five cats to the vet even if only one has an appointment so everyone smells equally foreign when they return home. Since we have a tiny sports car, we'll have to strap a couple of cat carriers to the roof, Mitt Romney–style. Or perhaps we'll get a cat caravan or trailer to hitch to the back.
3. If we can't bring all five cats to the vet, we need to work on our brushing, vanilla-scenting, and/or towel-rubbing techniques so we transfer the right scents to the right cats. We don't want to hear Harris, Possum, and Wendy hissing and growling at everyone (even us) ever again.
4. Toffee is exceptionally kind and tolerant toward strange-smelling cats. Or he has a poor sense of smell.
5. Packing tips for the ER: something to read, a sweater, snacks, a phone charger. Always bring the remains of whatever the cat swallowed, plus an intact example if you have one, so the vets can see what they're hunting for and determine how dangerous it could be.
6. Try to have your emergency on a day when the hospital is having a bake sale. Lion is a natural political strategist; his timing was perfect.