Sunday, March 22, 2015

The New Appliance

Suddenly, there it was, sitting on the counter: a new, serious-looking piece of kitchen equipment. But what was it? 

It was not a coffeemaker, blender, or seltzer machine. Nor was it a cookie jar, although I have one that's very similar that used to sit right there: a ceramic orange tabby. The head on this one doesn't come off, though, and that capacious belly is not hollow.

It could be some type of dishwashing device but it doesn't seem very reliable or hygienic. 

It could also be used to prop up a cookbook but, again, not reliably.


It could be a toaster. You could put the bread underneath it and eventually the bread would get warm, which is about all we can expect from our electric toaster, with whom we have a longstanding disagreement over its household duties.

So, yes, perhaps it's a new, improved toaster. But I wanted to be sure.

So I asked it. "What the heck are you supposed to be doing up there?"

It said, "I'm a popcorn tester. Give me some, and if it's any good, I'll tell you."

7 comments:

  1. Or could it be an organic automatic mouse remover?

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  2. Lol! I actually have a "new, improved toaster" on the counter sometimes - my DMH Emma Toaster Strudel.

    Love your blog, especially the entires about your cats. They are such beautiful fluffy cats :) Besides Emma, I have a crazy Abyssinian named Leroy. He's nowhere near as well behaved as Jacoby, aka Southie's own Stroller Cat.

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  3. How wonderful: you've gotten yourself a portable composter, the kind that used to be transported to and fro on rickshaws so that environmentally conscientious humans could ensure that no food they happened to come by (even in dumpsters) would be wasted. This makes sense of the Cake Caper: the composter was trying to ensure that the cake was properly recycled, thereby protecting nearby humans from a week's worth of sugar comas.

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    1. Aha! Thanks for explaining the versatility of this item. It will come in handy for those stray bits of cheese and smoked turkey that we would otherwise have to dispose of, guiltily....

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    2. Absolutely! The great advantage of this non-electric, old-fashioned type of composter is that it readily handles precisely the kind of food waste that municipal composting centers can't handle. They can take veggies and fruit waste, but not cheese and meat -- so everyone wins! (Especially the composter.)

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  4. I was going to say cookie jar.. that is the job Jack totally wants.. although once the cookies go in, they don't come back out.

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