As I was searching the real-estate listings today I saw this, er, rabidly patriotic living room in a posh building in the North End. Who lives here? As usual, I have a few theories. One might imagine this place belonging to someone in our military — maybe someone who doesn't get to spend much time on home soil and savors every minute of freedom and liberty during leaves. But I doubt it; last year, we looked at a condo belonging to a retired multi-star general and there wasn't a hint of Old Glory anywhere. He did have a cat.
More likely, this person works in a gift shop at one of the historic sites along the Freedom Trail and gets a discount on unsaleable tourist merchandise. (In which case, why isn't that mantel decorated with a set of presidential Pez dispensers? They are adorable. I secretly long for a John Adams Pez dispenser.)
If I found myself in this living room, I'd feel it was my civic duty to search for caches of concealed weapons. This is New England, after all: we are not that flag-oriented. Anyone who is this into it makes me nervous. (Check out the tiny flag throw pillows on the wing chairs.)
My last theory is that this is Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney's secret love nest. And now I'm done: I don't want to think about this any more. Get me out of here.
But before I go, I need to point out that using bunting as a window treatment may be a creative idea, but I'm still against it. Even when it matches your sailboat.