I've decided that one way to get through the next four years is to be more like Possum. As I've written before, Possum thinks that President Obama's campaign motto, "Vero Possumus," is Latin for "Hey, Let's All Be Like Possum." Others translate it as "Yes, We Can," and I see their point. But Possum says I can keep two ideas in my head at the same time. So when I'm not following Mr. Obama's instructions from his final speech, I'm going to follow Possum's example.
That means I'll be spending much of my free time hanging around with cats, napping, thinking deep thoughts, and reading. Cats can absorb knowledge by having physical contact with reading matter, a phenomenon I call "literary osmosis." It's unfair that we have to stay awake and turn pages.
(By the way, it is still October 24 in Old New Yorker Land. I'm reading a short summary of conservative thought and it's a better sleeping pill than the article about Marx was.)
Possum puts a lot of store in grooming and always looks his best, so I will have to make more of an effort. He is always giving me disbelieving or disapproving looks, and suggestions that indicate that he thinks I need improvement work in this area.
It's important to note, though, that cats never care a whit about other cats' fur color or other traits, including weight, size, age, gender, disabilities, income, background, or orientation. They judge each other by other criteria, such as manners and fragrance, which are harder to argue with. We can all follow this example. Possum doesn't care if I'm young, old, fat, skinny, plain, or beautiful. He just wants me to be the best "me" I can be (and to not smell like the vet).
So I suppose I need to Do Something About My Hair, since combing it is not enough. And invest in some night cream since I'm not going to wash my face with my own saliva, as he does. And he wants me to get over my antipathy toward exercise, not that he's setting much of an example.
When I pointed out how lazy he is, he told me there are intense exercise routines, similar to interval training, that produce big results with just a few minutes of effort. He says he does them when I'm not looking. I'm going to get a spy cam.
But I'm not getting a fur coat, so instead I got these soft pointelle long johns from Boden for lounging around the house:
They are striped and so it Possum. And they are so comfortable that they really are the cat's pajamas
These have navy stripes, like many of my favorite tees, but they are outlined with a fine metallic gold thread for a slightly sparkly effect — cats also shimmer. I could have ordered gray and white with silver thread, but I don't want to be mistaken for Possum. I can imitate but I can't duplicate; I won't be using a litter box or eating in a bowl on the floor, either. However, I plan to agitate for treats every chance I get.
I ordered a second pair of PJs, in pink, when they went on sale, and they are now on clearance, so you can be Vero Possumus, too, for about $26.